Today is day 11, and the body is holding up really well. The mind, not so good. It's still taking alot of personal coaxing to actually sit and meditate twice a day, and once I'm there its even more effort to turn off the chit chat. Having said that, I've only missed a couple of sessions, which is a reasonable effort.
The other thing that's going on this week is the emotions are running high. This week's theme is vitality, but while my body feels great, mentally I'm pretty exhausted. I've been going to bed way earlier than usual, had a few unexpected melancholy moments and even several rounds of tears. I even woke up with a cold sore gracing my top lip yesterday which is always pleasant. That normally happens when I'm truly feeling frazzled, bit I don't really feel frazzled, just tired. And nutty.
I seem to be re-assessing lots of stuff, but instead of it coming out good, I'm focusing on lots of yuck that I hadn't paid much attention to before. I think I'm coming undone. I'm sure it's part of the process, that this is supposed to happen, but I feel it's a bit premature. I guess its a good thing; caterpillar before butterfly and all that, but I hope it passes soon. I want to really love and enjoy this 40 days, not sook through it!
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