So why am I doing this??

Yesterday I picked up a copy of the book that accompanies this course, 40 Days to Personal Revolution by Baron Baptiste.  Despite having just held my daughter's rockin' 5th birthday party (thanks DJ Kit Kat), I managed to squeeze in a little reading last night.

I'm glad I did because as I continue to ponder my true reason for wanting to do the 40 Day program, I found the answer in the book.

At first, I resisted.  I'm not a person that feels I'm 'searching for something.'  Likewise, I don't feel like I'm missing something or that I need an external 'fix'.  I'm generally positive, always grateful and learned long ago what it means to take responsibility for myself.  Over the years I've done lots soul searching - some on purpose, some by accident or necessity - those life crises that bring you to your knees and cause a giant re-assessment of priorities?  Yep, I've had a few of those!

I'm even happy with my body, which is a massive deal for me. I'm comfortable with my weight, I eat incredibly well and am fitter and healthier than ever.

So why am I doing this??

This is the quote from the book that resonated with me: 'Heaven is like the mustard seed.  Though the tiniest of seeds it one day grows into the largest of trees.  Like heaven and like us, its potential is vast.'

I want to be a mustard tree.  

I want to grow.  I want to know my potential.  I want to face my ugly bits and find my lovely bits.  I want to be a better mum.  I want to love more.  I want to be calmer in the face of drama (!)  I want to stop, take stock and breathe.  I want to be still so that I can move forward.

Ahhhh.  That's why I'm doing this.